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Speaker 1: Let’s talk about question-based coaching. I’m not sure what it’s like in the Middle East, but one of the things that we see in the UK, across Europe, across America, is now it’s time to turn all of our leaders into coaches because we drank the Kool-Aid on the grow model or some other kind of model, and now we want to share the love with everyone else. And there’s some value in this because it’s certainly much better to replace curiosity with command and control because too many of our leaders come from a command and control model, and this model persists. But we’re living in a world that’s much more complex, so we can’t turn any leader up on high for all the answers. We have to look within. We have to look to each other.
So if we can help leaders shift their approach to always telling people what to do, to being more curious and asking their people what they think, then we can disconnect the dysfunctional dependence on our leaders and get people thinking for themselves. So I’m not saying it isn’t invaluable, but how many of you have been on the receiving end of the questioning approach from your managers? Just quick show of hands. Anybody have that? Yeah. And what’s your name?
Speaker 2: Dema.
Speaker 1: Adena?
Speaker 2: Dema.
Speaker 1: Dema. So imagine I’m talking to Dema, and when you start to feel a little anxiety if you’re Dema, and then she goes, “Yeah, I think it went pretty well.” Hopefully not the first question. And you go, “Yeah, any opportunities do you think to do better?” She goes, “No, I think I was pretty organized. Pretty solid.” Well, what about perhaps being more concise? Do you think there are any opportunities there? So what might be happening to you in your mind? Right? I’m using a question-based coaching model because I want her to discover it for herself because if I tell her what I think she’ll just crumble. But if I can lead her to think she’s discovering it for herself, the breakthrough is going to be more profound, right? But what might be happening for Dema as a result of those questions?
Speaker 3: Second-guessing herself.
Speaker 1: Speak a little louder, please. I’m so sorry.
Speaker 3: She starts second-guessing herself.
Speaker 1: She starts second-guessing herself. What else?
Speaker 4: Anxiety, for sure.
Speaker 1: Say it again?
Speaker 4: Anxiety.
Speaker 1: Anxiety. Why anxiety? I’m just curious in asking questions. Why are you so suspicious?
Speaker 4: I’m losing confidence about what I said or what I did.
Speaker 1: Right? She knows that I… And, Dema, what would happen for you in that same situation?
Speaker 2: I have to come up with [inaudible 00:02:56].
Speaker 1: So she might make stuff up just to satisfy the expectations of her authority figure. And then the authority figure is like, “Hey, I really got somewhere. This question-based coaching stuff is working.” So now I’m diluted. She’s pretending and we all think we’re going somewhere.
