Also, but then when you work with all these people and you start to see that there’s this incredible gap in almost everyone, a lot of people think they’re good at this stuff. To varying degrees, we are, because we all talk all the time. But a lot of people think they’re good drivers because they drive all the time, and yet we see the accident rate. I have seen how much people suffer from their inability to have an honest conversation. And it bothers me because I think it’s correctable. So I have somebody, probably like you. I mean, I also have people who coach me, and I was talking to one of the people who coaches me. And She was telling me a story of how her mom had some issues with her father, whatever those were when she was growing up. And at some point, the issues were bad enough that she He divorced him. Then 30 years later, her father dies, and her mother, I don’t know if it’s at the funeral or after funeral, but somewhere around there, says something like the following to my coach. She’s like, This was the love of my life.
And what I what I realized now is that I never, ever told him what was wrong. I bottled it up inside. And so 30 years go by, where you could have lived with the love of your life. And then 30 years later, you look back at it and you have regret. Yeah. And it’s like, sorry, am I allowed to curse on this thing? By all means. Well, it is called Know Your Shit podcast, right? It’s like, fuck, man. That doesn’t have to be that way. That’s right. And I saw the problems in my own family. My mother, the difficulty to say, and expressing herself to my father. The ability to articulate about things that you care about is so important because otherwise, it could be just swotted away so easily by somebody else who is smarter and more articulate. I look at my partner, friends of mine, who they can’t have a real relationship with their brother and sister because they can’t bring their authentic self to the conversation because it’s going to be rejected in in some way. Then if you can’t bring your real self to a conversation, you can’t actually have a relationship.
It’s just a superficial transaction around people who happen to be related. Then people always tend to, and I saw at work, how many managers were avoiding telling their people how they’re performing. Then their people don’t perform better. Then their people end up working at… I’m sorry, there’s nothing wrong with working at a Walgreens or something, but not if you’re a 30 trained engineer who never got good feedback on your performance, and now you’re just screwed because somebody has deprived you of that learning in the name of being nice.
